Click to hear your horse niegh

Ryse, the Xbox One exclusive quick-time-event from Crytek (Crysis), has received a digital comic,Ryse: Sword of Damocles. You can read and vaguely interact with the first of three issueshere. In it, Damocles is betrayed and killed in battle, so he comes back from the underworld to kill his corrupt generals that threaten Rome.

It’s not even a spoiler; the comic’s website lists that as the description.Ryse: Son of Romefor when you just want tomash buttonsand still win when you mash the wrong buttons,Ryse: Sword of Damoclesfor when you want to read a comic but don’t know if you may make it through all 33 pages (a chunk of which are Xbox One andForzaads), so we might as well summarize the first issue in one sentence just in case the reader gets bored halfway through or can’t finish it for some reason.

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There’s about as much substance here as there is in one frame of300and half the style, subsequently spread thin over a couple dozen pages of awkwardly interactive comic clearly designed for SmartGlass. Oh, and apparently the interactions yield collectibles for the main game that will allow for, “an early leg up in the multiplayer,” because reasons.

Who decided interactive comics were a good idea? I had aPower Rangersbook with a sound board attached and little icons sprinkled throughout the text prompting you to push the appropriate sounds and it was more engaging and interesting than clicking on this guy’s horse to make it neigh. And at least then I could just mash the pig monster button ad nauseam and hear it stutter and snort, “I’m hungry” over and over while I imagined throwing spicy foot longs into its mouth until it exploded.

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